Posted: June 2, 2022
Stoner
The beauty of a common life honestly depicted.
The introduction to this book mentions John William's clarity of writing. The first few pages had me experience this clarity and it is a joy. I am not getting the sense of flow that I get from authors I refer to as good writers. What I am getting is unadorned, straight prose that says exactly what it should with no digressions and with no frills. And it is a pleasure to read in its simplicity. I think that it is powerful, straight, and admirable prose.
I loved reading about the rural origins of William Stoner and I loved reading about his early stay at the University. I particularly relate to his reaction when first seeing the campus and how it made him feel safe and how he admired it so much he lingered at the edges feeling that he did not deserve to go in.
I began to dread the introduction of his wife, Edith. I felt that I would not like these passages since the intro pointed to a description of a failed marriage. But the way John Williams introduced Edith, he gives us a glimpse of her private world, her personal world, and I find myself empathizing with her and liking her much against my first expectation.
During William's marriage proposal to Edith, she brings up something for his consideration, namely, her upcoming grand tour of Europe. Stoner, dirt poor, says that he'll take care of it someday, he'll take her to Europe. This is so accurate! This is what if feels like to be a kid, even if you have nothing, the confidence is there that anything is possible, that money is easy, and all promises will be fulfilled. We are such fools when we are young - oh how I want to go back to that time again; with my current level of wisdom, of course.
When Williams relates the meetings between his and Edith's parents leading up to the marriage, all these events are punctuated by clumsy behavior and awkward silences. Having gone through my own wedding, it is described in a way I can relate to. The description is from the groom's point-of-view and that's pretty much how I experienced my own wedding - in a weird detached, surreal way.
It is when we reach the description of the honeymoon that this book meets my hopeful expectations for it. When I first heard Stoner reviewed I immediately felt that this was the book for me and it is. Williams is wonderfully and refreshingly honest. He does not shy from the topic. This honesty about life makes a reader feel less alone. I am so glad that Stoner is a book that delivers on my hopes about it and I'm not even halfway through.
Edith Stoner begins attacking her husband because he is happy and she is not. I am not even sure she is aware she is attacking him; or, if she is aware, she might not really be conscious of why. This is very illuminating for me. It shows that people behave in certain ways because of reasons other than is obvious; or reasons that they may not even be aware off. This really helps in helping me understand the people in my own life as well as myself.
I'm reading about the details of Stoner's life as a professor and the discussions about the academic subject known as Literature, it is full of "insider" terms and logic and I'm loving the insight into a world that I've always found fascinating. I can't follow the conversations since they are so mired in the expertise surrounding the subject but they are so fascinating. There is so much to learn about Literature and these specialists are holders of a secret language; I feel how much they relish their mastery of their field.
When Stoner begins his affair with Katherine Driscoll I was so thankful for it. After his trials with his wife and the whole stressful affair with a colleague named Lomax, William Stoner deserves the joy of this affair. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This affair is the highlight of the book; it is so joyful and free and, of course, passionate, and it makes up for so much that has been going wrong in William's life. Not only is William doing something that he loves, but he also has this, and that's a plus. The end of this affair was very immersive and bittersweet.
I'm always on the lookout for life giving a break to William Stoner. Edith mellowing out and giving up on her unfair treatment of her husband is one such break. It's with much annoyance that I note how wives keep blaming husbands for their situation. Either there is this wrong-headed assumption that husbands are somehow in control or responsible for their spouses' mental state or it's a simple disavowal of responsibility for one's own happiness on the part of wives. This is a terrible weakness of marriage; that it puts the onus of the wife's happiness on the husband. Each person is responsible for their own happiness. Period.
The other positive is Stoner's transformation to becoming a sort of grand old man of the campus: respected and, within himself, being able to afford a sort of comfortable selfishness and eccentricity. His winning back of the classes he wanted is part of this transformation.
Stoner is one of he best books I've ever read. Maybe because it is intrinsically good, which I feel it is. Maybe because it fits my personality, it certainly does. And maybe because it arrived in my hands at the right time of life. I have a feeling that if I had read this in my twenties I would not be as appreciative; I would probably even be repulsed by its honesty about the uglier side of life. But now the book is stunning, the writing style is direct, the subject matter is riveting. It is a book that makes me feel I have - to a certain extent - lived another life and profited, in some way, from the wisdom brought about by the experience.